Even though today is my birthday, it goes to show to how loveless my life is, to the fact that is was only celebrated with three people, one person if you take out my family. I guess it doesn't matter how many the people, as opposed to who they are or what you do.
But the thing is that, every time I have an exceptionally good time with friends, I laugh, I have fun, I feel alive and not a thought in my head, just life in that moment, and the moment is finished and I'm on my way home, I feel even sadder and even more alone than I have the days before when I was home alone all day on the internet.
It always happens, and I always end up feeling lonely, and sometimes I turn numb, I feel like I'm the only person in the world, loveless, not cared for, not thought about, the side-story that was kept on the shelves because it wasn't important enough to be put in the paper. As if if I died in that moment, I would just be tossed aside, not good enough for a coffin and my only purpose would probably be manure for plants in the future to come.
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