No one understands me

I hate when I'm not taken seriously, either because of my age, or because normally I act silly and boisterous. Because that's how I am on the outside, no one ever thinks I'm capable of being serious, deep or having provoking thoughts or ever being near to thinking like an intellectual. This annoys me to no bounds, because all the times when I'm alone, I am like that, and to be told or scoffed at when showing this side in public, it's extremely aggravating. I hate it. Whatever I am, or whatever I show is only a side of the story, and maybe if you heard all of it, you might actually understand it.

Musings

I have so much on my mind, so much I'm feeling, but when it comes to writing it all down; my mind goes blank. I feel too much of it all, and I don't think I'll ever be like Anne Frank, who had the particular skill of articulate skill of the telling of her emotions.
I have to say, two years ago, I tried reading Diary of Anne Frank more than three or four times, now I can't stop. It truly is exquisite! (I ship Petel [van Daan] and Anne so hard omfg!)
Apart from that, I have so many books that have been set out for me for the holidays, which is absolutely amazing, and my brother is here for me to annoy :)
But I can't help feeling, even though all these things will be happening, I won't enjoy the summer because I have no friends and I never go out with anyone, and I'll stay the whole day in my house interneting and feeling useless and my parents telling me I am for having such a rubbish life; but when I want to go out like three times in a week, my mom tells me off for going out 'too much', even though I hardly have a social life, and says when she was that age, she didn't go out as much as I did.
I wander of the future, and if leaving home will be all I make it out to be, because I envision it as the point in my life where freedom begins and everything I've wanted to do, be and learn, will happen and I really shall be devastated if that isn't the case.

All for now.